I remember this day like it was yesterday. By this point I was really concerned inside, bc I didn't have a baby yet. Jason couldn't really read my emotions bc to him it seemed like 1 day I would want a baby and the next I didn't. This was all part of being frustrated. Anyway....so, Jason came into the kitchen at our old house and he was so excited and kept saying Guess who is pregnant, I said who and he said Crissy. I felt like I had been slapped in the face and I became so angry. I was angry bc I felt like everyone was getting pregnant but me. I was angry bc it wasn't me. I was angry bc Jason was so excited and didn't even think about how I would react and I didn't even know I would react that way. I was angry bc I didn't understand why. This was a huge Wake up call to me and Jason.
This was the day I actually gave all the baby worry over to God. I started to feel a peace come over me that God will take care of everything on his timing not mine and Jasons. Once this peace came over me I wasn't angry anymore. & yes I was super excited for my wonderful sister- in-law & Brother-in-law :)
About a month later....
My sister aka fertile Myrtle became pregnant with her 2nd child right after that and she didn't want to tell me in fear of how It would effect me so she had Jason figure out the best way to break the news.
He sat me on our bed and told me he had to tell me something really important and he broke the news. I felt nothing but peace. It is amazing how God gives you that peace when you trust in him.
*Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.*
I also spoke with a fellow Christian friend who had been having some problems getting pregnant in the past and they decided to adopt and then she became pregnant once the adopted baby was home. She gave me the best advice. She said instead of focusing on having a baby that Jason and I need to focus on each other and have fun because once a baby comes everything changes. So, this is what we did.
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