Getting a little better each day:)

Sunday night was another long night...Jason sat up until 3am bc
I could sleep and kept tossing & turning. I LOVE him so much!! Hes such a great husband! Monday I tried to work but i couldnt function bc i was SO tired. Monday night I was restless too but did come to work Tuesday. Last night I slept really well! Thank God! A BIG thank you to Matt & Brooke for letting me stay with them Mon & Tues night since Jason had
To work. I started finally feeling myself again yesterday around 2ish & didn't get anxious until my appt with my therapist that evening. I'm sure that's bc
I had to talk about my feelings about things going on in my life that I have suppressed and not realized.
I felt anxious around lunch and took some meds and I'm feeling better now!

God is amazing and we really appreciate all the prayers!!!

<3

Another night of Waking up to an anxiety

So as I mentioned in my previous blog I woke up having a anxiety attack. Well it happened again last night I had taken my meds around 9:30pm so I wasn't sure why I was waking up feeling this way. I basically couldn't sleep the rest of the night & once again felt like I had bad sunburn so
I kept tossing and turning in my bed
so
I decided to move to the couch. Still couldn't sleep and I was SO hot that I kept turning the air down and I tried sleeping beside the air vent. Needless
To say I felt better but was scared
To take my Xanax bc of what happened
That night. I couldn't wait to get
To church and speak to my doctor.
He told me just to up my dose a
Little. Well unfortunately one of my Best friends, Jason & I missed service because I was
Really anxious but God brought someone really special in my life at just the perfect time to help me understand a little more.

Please continue to pray for us!!<3

Prayers Needed for Me!

& Jason too because i am sure its hard for him to watch me
Go through this.....

Okay friends! I really need
Your prayers! Wed night I had another panic attack & I've had several mini ones since then & constantly feel anxious. I went to the Dr yday and I've started taking some meds to
Hopefully help me. I was so against them but I can't keep feeling like this. My Dr prescribed me Celexa. I didn't wanna take an antidepressant but I need something to make me feel better....I woke up lastnight havin a panic attack for the 1st time at night around 3am. It scared me to death. I felt like my back was on fire!! And my heart was racing. Jason took my pulse and heart rate and it was high for me. I wasn't sure if I was hvg a bad reaction to the Celexa but Jason sd it wouldn't happen after taking 1 pill. I then realized I was hvg a panic Attack when my hands started to tingle.
I took a whole Xanax because 1/2 doesn't do anything. I tried a 1/2 xanax b4 i went to bed at 10p but then
I had to turn around & take the whole @ 3ish AM then When I woke up at 7am I was anxious again even though the Xanax was still in my system but I think it was bc my dad & Jason were leaving for an all day motorcycle Ride. It's kinda like any "little" thing is really making me anxious. I waited until 11:15 to take another whole Xanax and I am FINALLY feeling more myself. It gives me horrible dry mouth though. I'm have no appetite but when i Try & eat I feel I nausea. But I have faith that God is going to bring me through this!

I love this song my Casting Crowns:

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away


And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away



I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Some may call it Coincidence......

But we call is God answering our prayers! The other day when I had my panic scare I told Jason I need someone
to just tell us what to do! Well this morning I was on the way to work praying & asking God to make it very apparent if we should save more money to try and conceive or save money for adoption. I barely got that prayer out of my mouth & I noticed a car in front of me with a bumper sticker with big bold letters that said ADOPT. I don't think God could make it any clearer. So let the process begin!!:):)

God is absolutely amazing and I finally feel like we will have a bigger family one day!:)

Please prayer for this!

Anxiety Sucks!!

So I am sitting at my desk about 10 mins before I was leaving for lunch and I felt as if I was about to black out. My vision became spotty and I got dizzy and scared then realized I am about to have a panic attack. I started my breathing exercise that the EMT & Jason taught me and I started to feel better.
I haven't felt like that since the day I had my panic attack back in Nov.
I have been lightheaded several times but I've never felt like that.
I don't even feel stressed but I guess because I'm not pregnant again this month and we have been looking a little more into adoption. Lots of decisions. Please pray for my sanity during all this!

One day we will look back and see why God has taken us down this journey.

Thanks so much for everything!

No baby this month:(

Stupid period! But we know its All in Gods timing :) Im still pretty bummed though:(
We have decided to actually try in April & May on our own & save money for another IUI & I'm also buying ovulation sticks & taking my temp. I have a calendar that I use and I think I can feel when I ovulate but I wanna be double sure! We've actually never used ovulation sticks believe it or not. We just figured it would "just happen" after 8 years.
Thank u all for the prayers & text :)
Love you all!